lack of sleep + inadequate time to fit all of her schedule + is slightly pmsy + the weather's such a pain in the ass = extremely extremely grouchy and very angry person. me. 

i dont think today will be a very good day. i need to vent my frustration. thank you ivena for hearing me rant, hearing me say neverheardbeforeof vulgarities i never imagine myself saying. roar. bad bad mood. so damn grouchy. 

( why? )
anyway long day ahead, i should take a nap and KEEP MY COOL. 

 i like days like these when i'm so tired but yet so reflective.. cos i know once i've emptied my thoughts, i could retreat into a deep slumber mode..

( in the span of a month,  )..and i seem to have lost my train of thoughts after a while. 

 MY LEGS ARE ACHING FROM ALL THE WALKING! first it was around Ion, and i havent walk through everything, i just kept walking by Royce to see this cute salesguy. heh heh. then today i walked around Bugis. omg damn tired. legs aching, wallet crying. omg spent more than 100 dollars on shopping in 2 days. omggggggggggggg. really spending like running water. NOT. GOOD. but oh wells at least the stuff i bought i like it veh much. :D 

NAT I'LL SEE U IN NOVEMBER THEN meanwhile, you take care in aussieland<3 and may we eat more softshell crab handrolls the next time! friends around me are all starting uni real soon, i'm so scared i'll be bored to death.time to start looking for jobs again. and bump into Dawn today! suddenly realise that my class has yet to meet up as a whole since results day =\ eh outing let's go! 

parking a car sucks so much. and because my body very short, i can never get a clear view of the rear whenever i turnaround, it's better when i look through the rear mirror!!! why oh why cant i do that! and i hate how my instructor is so unprofessional and very disgusting. typical uncle syndromes all around him. i hope my guy friends dont become like that when they hit 40. 

it's the busy saturday tmr again! and i must not go around town for the next 2 weeks. must resist the temptation to spend already. anyway GSS IS ENDING so yay, no more reason to spend :D so next week, i'll be staying home and going out only when necessary. 

 harhar i think i kind of forgot that i had this a/c?


no, actually it was more of like i've been damn lazy to post something. and only use this a/c to stalk the lives of my other friends. heh heh. 

oh wells, i saw my last entry was in January, and i realised how time has really flew by, it's already July D:!! most of my friends are already entering Uni, local or private,  i only wished i was more insistent and not listened to my mum and just sign up for SIM. had i done it, i would be starting sch in Aug, and not Jan 2010. I'm quite worried about the lost of momentum to study though. 

( The past 6 months at a glance...  )

AND CURRENTLY... Been meeting up with close friends on a regular basis. Training really hard at TKD. having loads of fun at dance. still giving tuition and being a bummer at home :D i................... will update again. 

happy new year everyone!

my 08 was great, it was filled with great memories from T1 to council to VOILA to the many exams to tkd. i'm thankful to all those who have been a part of this :D

i hope 2009 will be yet another fantabulous year! i guess my only resolution of the year is to be open, try new things and STEP OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE! i think i've been too conservative and not brave and very doubtful and apprehensive about everything! get ready for changes carmen!

meanwhile, i hope everyone's enjoying this long holidays! though it's becoming kind of dreary and meaningless with nothing to look forward to and nothing to do. and and i'm still looking for jobs! lalalala have fun people! 

Listening to: Here(in your arms) by hellogoodbye
Got stabbed by: JOCELYNNNNN MY DEAREST ROGER lameshit friend!
The rules:Bold the statements that are true to you
Italise the statements that you WISH are true
Leave the Fibs alone
Then, stab 5 guys to do the same test.

I miss somebody right now.
I dont watch TV these days.
I own lots of books.(reading them is a different matter)
I wear glasses or contact lenses
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy -but still think it's a double-edged sword.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. (it happens to be in my pencilcase that's all! - no suicidal tendencies)
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
I need money right now. Who doesn't right?
I love sushi, but not the weird ones, like octopus and eel.
I talk really, really fast. (sometimes!!)
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling (i'd like to have at least one really!)
I have long hair.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D. But I'm totally fine if life has surprises. (i had to go through that for more than a year! caller ID is a must lah)
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent (I wish I could play the pianoooo or like do some cool stuff!)
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone (yea man!! people can even hear me in words)
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop (when it's not my money haha)
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop then eat. So that I can wear anything!
I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. (noooo not yet!)
I rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life. Stand up comedy, anyone?
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I have a lot to learn.
I'm not allergic to anything. (i think so!)
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friends's ex.
I am happy at this moment! Amazingly.
I'm obsessed with guys
I study for tests most of the time. Unfortanately the results don't show it haha.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job. (I NEED A JOB!)
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup. (sometimes!)
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument. Actually quite rusty now already.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant. (never ever want to)
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausage.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep. (sometimes!!! that doesnt mean you can get things out of me)
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better. Used to collect bread labels, used stamps.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary. I still have my primary school sticker collection.
I like a person of the same sex. (my many many good fwenssss!)
I love being happy. But not to the extent it grates on others' nerves.
I am an adrenaline junkie.


I will tag:
frips!
nat!
THE BORED PEOPLE OUT THERE! :D

ughh falling sick makes me feel so cranky!
cant go out, cant communicate with anyone. I BECAME VOICELESS WITHIN A DAY :(( am very sad i missed the ben&jerry fest thing at fort canning! was supposed to go with ivena, joyce and sarah (havent seen her in a year!), but because i sounded so bad, i had to stay at home and vegetate literally. i still sound quite bad now.. at least it's improving! and my attempt to visit the doctor as soon as i realised i was ill didnt help, because the clinic is closed for 10 days!!!! i was like omg how can they do this to meeeeeee?!?!?! i cabbed down and very much annoyed the cab drivers who couldnt understand what i was trying to tell them. they probably couldnt hear me in between all the coughing :((

anyway that aside, this two weeks have been great! prom was good, post prom was even better, supermassive was good too. life's been good after the A's :D initially i was getting a bit sian cos the shopping for prom was a headache and spending so much of my savings within a few days made my heart ached. $_$ glad it was money well spent though. i very much enjoyed the company of the class and my other friends whom i have spent two years of my life with, so prom was essentially marking the end of time spent as one college. but as cliche as it may sound, the friendships will certainly last :) pics will be up as soon as i get the cable!

justin's birthday surprise was almost successful cos i think he probably sense something wasn't right after his dad forced him to stay home and chuan called him and all, but it was still great. WHO HAS THE VIDEO WHERE HE WAS CAUGHT SLEEPING?? UPLOAD UPLOAD! and thank you to voila who tried to celebrate the november babies birthday also!frippiat teh mastermind of all is now in philippines till jan and i'll miss her till then!

meanwhileeeeeeee, i need a jobbbb. anyone has good lobangs please tell meeeeeeee!! and i'm looking forward to cj's orientation in 09!! :D

it makes me feeeeel so happy to read everyone's blog post about the FREEEEDOM they are all enjoying now!! :D:D:D:D of course i'm...... happy beyond words.

the A'S ARE FINALLY OVERRRR!!

like omg finally after the gruelling 2 years of education ( i dont care if i only started working like after mid years this year) i can finally run free from this education system that i'm gettting quite sick of. yay yay yay HAPPY HAPPY :D:D
thank you to all those who like stood by me and like encouraged me and thank you for all those GOOD LUCK MESSAGES! :D and especially those who have to hear me complaining (like nat omg thank you darling! <3) i will not complain anymore!

i am looking forward to all the outings and all, just cant wait to get myself away from books, notes that has literally surrounded me these few months. i am more than glad to send them back into their boxes where they will reside in till further notice. heh

so now pressing issue: JOB JOB JOB!!! any job offers anyoneeeee! and my eye sight deteriorated for sure, all the close up reading lah dammit. things are like blurer than usual. :((

and i should start planning my to -do list!! :D:D driving! classes! outings! yippie yay :D:D
( ... )

ONE MORE WEEK TO A's!

i hope i can chiong like mad this last week cos this is it already!
ALL THE BEST EVERYONE! GOOD LUCK!
catch me back here after 24th!

first week back in school was so boring lah. nothing much interesting happened. MY LIFE IS SO MUNDANE NOWADAYS! it's like wake up get to school, stay in school till ten, back home,sleep and the cycle repeats itself the next day - and this happens five times a week.  damn boring. and very very tiring. so much that on thursday i was like super moody and so tired, i didnt stay for night study but just went home and sleep. i'm so scared of burning out now cos i have many weeks more to endure. bahhh! well at least night study really helps, cos you just have to do something given the few hours there, and it somehow forces you study even if it means it wasn't as productive as i hope it'd be.

i'm also feeling rather apprehensive about my prelim results cos hmm i dont think i'll do well. i failed my math again. but i guess i cant really complain much cos i sacrficed the time for it for my H2s :( i hope i can get at least a B during A's cos now i'm like doing papers after papers. i hope i can at least pass my H2s this time. when you realise the next exam you're going to take is the real thing, you just cant afford to screw up anymore. because like now we can console ourselves that oh it's just the mid years or the prelims, but the next one isn't going to be just school based anymore. cher keeps repeating to me that "we're competing with the nation's best!", and i begin to wonder how true is it that JC students are the batch's top 20% during the O levels. cos given my grades, i seriously doubt so for me at least.

sidetracking, planning for activities and stuff after A's is really fun and very very motivating! like it makes you alive for a while because the long 8 months holiday is really worth the anticipation and all your frustration from the revision is reduced a little. haha for that well deserved break ahead, better work harder now. 

i realised i got nothing else to say except my studies, cos i literally got no life now cos everyday is spent in school :( and other aspects of my life is rather okayy.. or so i hope :)

( random personality test... )

it's been a long while. i'm finally done with the prelims! next week onwards we will see carmen all geared up and ready to prepare for the battle of the century - the A levels.  with only barely 7 weeks to go to the first paper (thanks for the constant reminder ah, salim), it's really the last leg of the race. i know i've probably screwed up a few papers, but it's over already and i probably know where to pick up from where i last stopped revising for the prelims. the only thing i forgot was to compile a list of "omg i need to relook this in detail after prelim" for my revision, because there was so little time and too much panic attacks during the last few hours before each paper. anyway, that shall be it for any academia related rants.

I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING UP WITH IVENA, JOANG, JACQ (?), JOYCE(?).. hmm i dunno who else is coming but i havent seen joan and jacq for a really long time. havent been able to meet up with ivena as well due to conflicting schedules but i'm sure tmr will be eventful and fun. ivena, please remember to bring your camera! :D

yesterday was like major socialising session and catching up session wheeeeeeeeeeee.  went back to sch (haha, of all places) to meet frippiat and jocelyn to study. there was a very strong post prelim atmosphere around us, that we not only didnt manage to get much work done, we spent time talking and laughing and playing songs on my phone and talking about plans after A's. then we left for andrew's surprise mission at his house in bishan. these kind of surprise missions are really heart warming. i've planned one, helped in another and see many of these surprise missions carried out successfully. it's very nice to see friends doing so much for one another :) the poor boy had no celebrations cos his birthday was during the sept hols and right smack in the prelim period, so we postponed his celebration to after prelims. he was really caught off guard when like more than 30 of us appeared in his living room, his expression was classic! left for dinner at gardens with a whole big group of us and just simply enjoyed myself a whole lot yesterday :D i love my friends!

p.s oh ya voilalalalala people, i'm planning gathering after A's! will email you guys soon.

and have fun people! see you all on mondayyyyyyyyy.

half way through prelims! i think i screwed up GP and econs. i felt that i was crapping whole time and i probably wont be able to understand what i wrote if i were to re read my script now. oh wells.

i. must. continue. to. study! oh god please give me the discipline and determination to continue studying through prelims, after prelims and through A's. omg.

pray for the best expect the worst! :((

about 12 more hours to the start of prelims. omg. so not prepared. GP and geog on the same day is like killlerrrrrrrrrrr. still trying to mug geog. hydrology is totally forsaken. and econs - what econs??

i am so screweeeeeed. i need miracles omg.

i'm such a gonerrrrrrrrrr. didnt do any work over the weekends, so now i have to chiong everything. happily watching Olympics and slacking around. i'm super unproductive at home. HENCE, i will find myself in the school library doing work and revising from now on.  THANK GOD FOR NIGHT STUDY. well at least i managed to write nice testimonials for mei qi and i. haha i am VEH proud of my work, it's as though she can now get a job anywhere with what i wrote for her. hahaha xDD

haha i dont intend to finish all my work by today anyway =/ will only do my geog essay and geog tutorial and maybe revise macroeconomic policies. i've totally neglected econs these few weeks, it's like geog tutorials one after the other! speaking of which, WHEN IS THE TIME TABLE COMING OUT! i need the tum table to prioritise my work! bah.

and i still have to get my PEARLS thing done asap. bahh.

the weeks fly by like no one's business these days. they're so fast, it felt like yesterday when i strike off the weeks left to A's :((

somehow the teachers think that just because we have a longer weekend, we have more time, so the result is we have more hw and essays to complete by end of the week, which means we have no time to revise other stuff! bah, these few weeks are like rushing out tutorials and essays day after day, i barely have the time to touch on my revision stuff. so damn worried that i'll have to sacrifice certain chapters again. yah AGAIN, cos every exam i sit for, i never get to finish revising EVERYTHING i want to revise. spotting is super unhealthy.

it's ok, 3 more months to go, after that i have the key to at least 6 months of freedom! so yes bear with it.

anyway, i'm trying to think up things to write for mei qi for her testimonial. it's damn easy to just state and list but when u have to substantiate what you say with evidence of her involvement, it becomes hard. not like she doesnt have, but i dont know if it's appropriate or enough. bah i think i better get started so i can sleep soon.

i hope for productive study days and great discipline for the next few weeks and months!

woah today is like superrrrrrrrrr tiring!
well GP mock was alrightttt. but i guess i could make do with more time. and i finally posted the download links for my LTC08 group's pictures! they are like 300++MB it took my more than 12 hours to upload it on various hosting sites and yes, i left my computer on the whole night. i dont like to do that, cos it makes weird sounds in the middle of the night =/ i hope they can all download them successfully otherwise i have to re-upload D:
revised a bit of geog before rushing home and i feel really behind time all my work. these are what we have been taught and should have learnt but somehow when i re-read the lecture notes, it felt like new stuff and to top it off, i've yet to touch the readings attached to the notes. so i'm pretty much screwed, next 3 weeks of my life will be hardcore mugging (i sincerely hope) and major reduction of internet/tv/social etc. until i've cleared prelims. my mum was telling me if i screw up my prelims she's going to make me postpone my A's and do it next year. for that, i PROMISE PROMISE to work really hard. i swearrrrrrrrrr.
finally went for training after like MIAing for a month, and my my did it feel REALLY good to do some streinous excersise after so long. afterall PE nowadays are rather slack - what with the bangrah dance for natl day and all. so yay i'm feeling chirpy after losing maybe a few hundred calories. :DD tonight's my last lesson and i'm going to disappear till maybe after prelims!
anyway, yes monday was a good day! my week started off pretty well. let's hope it stays as well for the entire week. 

bahh tried to be productive today by going out to study with daryl and arthur again at starbucks. well it kind of worked, did some math, did even more readings. it's more effective when i study out- away from all the distractions at home. then majella came, and omg her countdown on her desktop is like wth, 89 more days to A's. seriously, like omg it's damn near yet i'm not even 50% prepared for this exam! i need to gear up gear up gear up! sunday i will chiong more work!

meanwhile am loading the SC formation pictures onto my computer! please everyone send pictures to daryl chan so that he can compile!

i kind of miss going for training! same period last year, i remember being covered with bruises all over because of the preps for nationals. and like a lot of ppl are improving, i feel really stagnant. oh wells. A'sA'sA'sA'sA's




.dreams are your subconscious reality

yay finally after getting a new account i'm posting!





.being truthful needs courage